Everyone is selfish because everyone has the natural instinct of survival. Therefore everyone is selfish because everyone want to eat, want a job, want a to sleep and so on. These examples which are the basics to survive have the same nature than people who want a car, a house, a child, a relationship, etc. So if you have wished anything from the above mentioned (also included eat or sleep) you are selfish.
Consequently, being selfish in not bad, since it is totally natural. But then, why people helps people? Because they have developed a powerful tool called “love” . They fulfil their desires giving love and therefore they are “selfish people helping other people” (In the same way that the parents help a son).
This last group that I just mentioned (selfish people helping other people), are the people whose will get more rewards. But how can I stop being selfish and develop the value of love if it is not in my values (and our values do not have to be changed consciously)?
Controlling the instincts and stopping being selfish are unnatural. But it is here where an animal human becomes a real person. When I sit to meditate, my instincts say to me continually: get up! And start doing the millions important things that you have to do in order to survive today; so I try to move away from my natural instincts because I have higher values.
Sometimes to follow the instincts are not bad if they do not affect your goals or values. As an example, if I am married and I love her but I find another woman one night, would I want to put my ”goal” relationship in danger? However, if I am single and my instincts say to go with a woman who I just meet but there is nothing bad in this (as long as another goals or values would not be affected), then go for it.
In the same way, being selfish should be controlled in some extend and give to others what has the greatest value for us. Why? Because it is the law of the nature, which was stated in the third law of Newton: “For every action there is an equal and opposite reaction”. In other words each time that we give, we will receive the same amount in other type of resource more valuable (in most of the cases in the way of ”love”). Furthermore what the law does not say is that if we give, our ego and attachments decreases, becoming more human.
Therefore, although follow the instincts and being selfish is natural and we have to follow them in a number of cases, sometimes instincts and being selfish have to be stoped in order to stop suffering and to get the most of this beautiful world.
Without doubt, the most harmful of the natural instincts which is not useful the 95% of the cases and has to be removed completely is FEAR. Without fear you will be free and happy, giving to everyone the greatest resources that you have.
Furthremore, paradoxically fear also interfere with other instincts. As an example, you can like a woman (you have an instinct of being with her) but you have fear to speak with her. With this easy example it can be seen how the fate of any human being is definitely suffering if the instinct of FEAR is not reduced to the lowest levels.
Tags: mind and body
